A job that changed me: As an anxious first-time surgical assistant, the casual workplace dynamics surprised me

I was primed to sweat my way through a high-stakes procedure. But once the patient was sedated, a welcome warmth entered the room

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I’ve had quite a few surgical procedures over the years but one always sticks in my mind. The 7am arrival to hospital, the injustice of being deprived a morning coffee in the name of “fasting”, the apprehension as I lay on the operating table waiting for it to begin. It was my second spinal operation in a few months, because the surgical team had operated on the wrong part of my spine the first time around. As you can imagine, my nerves were frayed.

Even under normal circumstances there’s a gravity to surgery for patients. It can be one of the most serious and important things to happen in your lifetime. It’s also the most vulnerable you can get as a patient, trusting a group of strangers to sedate you and alter or remove parts of your body, hoping you’ll end up better off than you were before. I spent the next couple of years healing from that first surgical error through rest, rehabilitation and a lot of engagement with medical and allied health services. In my downtime, I decided to apply for medical school to see what I might contribute as a doctor.