My husband’s weight loss is triggering my eating disorders. What can I do? | Annalisa Barbieri

You must look after your own mental health. A therapist could provide a safe space to discuss your feelings

I feel torn between being a supportive wife and protecting my own mental health. My husband has recently had great success using drugs, diet and exercise to lose weight. He has struggled for a long time, and I am immensely proud of him, especially as he is now tapering off the medication and maintaining a healthy lifestyle. The problem is that I have struggled with anorexia and bulimia my entire life. I’m not in therapy as I can never find the right therapist. I go through periods when it’s manageable, but sometimes it flares up.

My husband is well aware that I still struggle with these issues. However, our daily life since his weight loss has become a constant stream of calorie talk, workout updates and discussions about his shrinking clothes. I pretend I’m fine to avoid raining on his parade, and because he can be defensive when challenged, but beneath the surface I am drowning. I have stayed the same size throughout our relationship, yet find myself constantly comparing my body with his progress. I’m in my 40s and worry about getting older and being replaced. I am exhausted by trying to act as if I’m OK when I am actually deeply triggered.